Most People Wouldn't Wantonly Eat The Hors D'oeuvres If
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Bless Me Father For I Have Sinned. I Use Trans Fats In All
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Daylight Savings Time Claims Another Victim
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There's A Gastroenterologist In My Closet
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The Gps Eliminates All The Guesswork
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I Don't Have Time To Read A Book A Month, What About
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Chicken Lies Dead Under The Sky That Has Fallen On
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Don't Worry Honey. There Will Be Another Apocalypse
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Did You Say Something, Or Did
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Counting You And The Outpouring Of Comments On Facebook
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You, You, You. It's Always About
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In The Case Of The King Vs All Of His Men I'm Declaring
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Grandma Is Texting Her Grandchildren
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We've Had A Difficult Time Getting Pregnant Because My Wife
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I Need A Card That Sends A Very Clear Mixed Message
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Your Honor, This Does Not Automatically Make Him A Corn
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And I Promise To Love, Honor, And Take This Man For Granted
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I Hate It When I Have To Talk On My Phone
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Okay, This Is The Scene Where The Bear Becomes A Parachute
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You Could Just Say It Was That Time Of The Month
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Welcome To Valhalla. I'm Hilde And I'll Be Your Valkyrie
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The End Is
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I Stay Inside Until I'm Positive I'm Not On The Menu
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Excellent My Dear, But Perhaps A Tad More Mystery
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We Can Manage This Is We Work 247 And No One Takes A Holiday
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The Months Of Arduous Training Were Worth It, She Makes
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All Dressed Up Without The Slightest Idea Why
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So Should I Bother With Dinner
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The Ad Said Reduced 50% So I Bought It. Let's Not Argue
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I Get Better Results With A Live Elephant And An Invisible
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I Need An App Where I Can Insert Myself Into A Happy Family
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After The Age Of Fifty The 'c' Word Always Means Colonoscopy
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Can I Get That In A Nutshell
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I Never Said I Was A Virgin, I Said Vegan
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Mom, Dad, I Prefer Gathering
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I Miss The Good Ole Days When The World Paid Little Or No
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Shouldn't You Be Shedding That Winter Coat By Now
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It Looks Like Your Son Hasn't Changed His Underwear In
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In Need Of Economic Stimulus
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We've Got Pretty Much Everything We Need Except Someone
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You Don't Want To See My Movie Pick, And I Don't Want
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My Dog Ate My Opinion
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Have You Ever Noticed How Much Your Mole Looks Like A Check
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When Life Gives You A Metaphor Get Extra Doggie Bags
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Lets Synchronize Our Meds And Meet Back Here When The Time
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I'm Quite Impressed With Your Bloodthirstiness But We Won't
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Whenever Somebody Tells Me 'you Go Girl' I Generally Have
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This App Helps During Labor By Shouting Very Creative
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What's So Funny Is We Only Have A Roll Of Quarters Left
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Take This And Use It To Make Really Dumb Jokes
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I'll Have Another Scotch And My Chimera Will Have A Cosmo
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The Snake Swears By It For A Great Chutney
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He's Stuck On 'but I Digress
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Oh I Thought It Was Opposites Attack
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Love Song Of The Baby Boomer
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Since When Does The Princess Have To Take Orders From
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I Don't Think That's What They Mean By Reducing The Wine
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I Found Out Where The Nba Players Shop Online
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My Wife Thinks I Should Go Into Therapy To Find Out Why
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This Is Great I Had No Idea It Was A Dinner Cruise
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I Understand You're The Person To See For Pre-k Funding
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Do You Have A Few Minutes To Take An Important Survey
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The Next Phase In Which We Carve The Stones Ornately
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You Can Change A Man, But Then They Divorce You, Remarry
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Forget About The Corporate Giants, Aim For The Pedestrians
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Do You Have Any 'congratulations On Your Presidential
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It's Your Night To Do The Dishes
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I've Wasted Decades Convincing Myself That I Actually Like
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Upper Management Still Relies On Resumes...boring
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Bad Dog Stop Doing The Crossword Puzzles
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If You Can Read This We'd Like To Know
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